first birthday as a dad

Unlike Darran who is a massive birthday fan and wants to go all out, I’m not really a fan. I mean, you get one every year. what’s the big fuss all about?

This year was slightly different though. This year I celebrated my first birthday as a DAD!


The day started like most days. Both Darran and Pudding were still snoring their heads off meaning I have to get ready for work like a mouse. Even though Darran says I don’t, I bloody do. It’s hard work for a heavy-footed fucker like myself to get ready quietly.

I never take the day off on my birthday but off I trot, on my mission to Wimbledon. Every so often I have to go to my companies head office which is based in Wimbledon.

I hate travelling into London on a normal day but having to get on the underground and travel across the WHOLE of London on my birthday, having to go on the underground in the hight of summer is an absolute PISS-TAKE. But I do it anyway

heading home

So after doing 8 odd hours at work I make the trek home again.

Overground from Reynes park to Waterloo is okay. Hot but okay.

I get to Waterloo and head down to the Jubilee Line and it’s HOT and ramo! I que up, yep people are actually queuing up to get on the tube. What sort of fuckary is this? I can already feel myself starting to get wound up!

Tube pulls in and out of the corner of my eye, I see this little snake walking up trying to push in. Anyone who knows me, knows I don’t like pusher inners. Have some train decorum fuckwit.

So I start edging myself forward, position myself so he can’t push in front. I then sqweeeeeez myself onto the tube only for the non-decorum tube fuckwit to push himself into the tube.

NAH! I give him the dirtiest look possible, he just looks at me. The tube doors close and I could barely breath.

I thought to myself ‘fuck this’ and got off. I then said ‘Could you not wait for 2 minutes instead of pushing your fucking self in’? To which he replied ‘I was here first’. What? Are you fucking 3? I replied.

I get on the tube, sweating like a fat kid on a treadmill, taking in deep breaths and counting to 10. anyway, I’m digressing


I get a message from Darran asking what time I’ll be home so he can start dinner. ‘I neeeeed a shower before I do anything’ I replied.

I get indoors, give my little man the biggest kiss, for him to say ‘Happy Birthday Dad, I love you’ Heart just melted!!!

Jumped in the shower and when I came out I was greeted with a birthday card and Charlie the Caterpillar cake.

Pudding – ‘Ice cream, Ice cream’ pointing to the cake. I cut him off a little bit while we’re eating dinner. More cuddles, kisses and ‘Happy Birthday Dad, I love you’ before he went off to bed.

Not a mad, drinking, getting in at silly o’clock birthday but I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Absolute perfect birthday with Darran (my soon to-be-hubby) and our little man.

two brothers

yesterday was the day that pudding re-connected with his brother since moving in with us, and boy was it an emotional one.

we started the day well, Darran’s mum and dad surprised him on Friday so it was a late one Friday night for Darran (3 am)! we all got up, had breakfast and Bampa read about 100000000 books to pudding.


we had arranged to meet b (I’ll refer to Puddings brother as b) and his grandparents at a large woodlands park about 30 minutes from us. the weather looked shit, big dark clouds. all of a sudden thunder!!! great, where the hell do we go now.

searching like mad for somewhere else we could go that was near-by so the boys could play together. thankfully, I found an indoor soft play area which looked okay (well, that’s what I thought)

we arranged to meet at 10 am and we were already running late! chucked pudding in the car and off we go.

for some reason, I had this feeling that the place we were meeting b and the GPs wasn’t going to look like what was online but I kept quiet. following the satnav I see the checkered flag coming up! okay, let’s see what this is going to look like I said to myself.


as we drive down the road I see the sign. we then drove passed and it was closed. it was more than closed, it was derelict. wtf!!!

the first time the two boys are seeing each other in 6 months, the first time Darran and I are meeting b I’ve sent them to some closed down, derelict shithole!

I call the granddad and apologised. luckily, he was absolutely fine. he then said we should just go to the woodlands park and if it rains then so be it – great!

unorganised parents

as we’re driving to the place I ask Darran whether pudding has his coat? no! the fucking coat is on the dining table! does he have his hearing aids? no! they are on the fucking coffee table! fucking marvellous!!!

we’re currently on our way to spend a couple of hours outside in this shitty weather and he doesn’t have a coat or his hearing aids!

darran then calls his mum to ask whether they can drop them off to which they replied yes!


as we pull into the car park we see granddad who is just about to call me. we park a bit away so that we can sort pudding out. making sure he’s looking his best lol

darran gets out the car and greets the gp and introduces himself to b. meanwhile, I’m getting pudding out the car.

i put him on the floor and guide him to where the 3 of them were standing. as soon as pudding saw them he stopped. then smiled and hugged his brother – all this happening while me and darran are trying so hard not to blubber like a couple of old gay boys finally meeting ariana grande!

this is everything we wanted for this meeting.

knowing their backgrounds and them not seeing each other for 6 months, we weren’t sure how pudding would react. he reacted in the most wonderful way!

we hung around the entrance until bampa and yaiyai came with the coat and hearing aids.


we spent the next few hours working around the woods, looking for the Gruffalo characters and letting the two boys re-connect.

we also got the chance to get more information about pudding’s past from the gp. getting to know b was great too.

our first fathers day

Growing up I never really celebrated Father’s Day because my birth dad was never really around. Today was probably the first time I realised how precious little moments like today can be.

Celebrating our very first Father’s Day felt so special. When I was younger I used to dream about becoming a father and used to think about how Father’s Day would look. I used to think I would have a big grand day out with the whole family. A cake with Happy Father’s Day written on it and my son or daughter bringing me breakfast in bed. Gifts given to me by my children and the day being all about me.

Today was far from that dream I used to have. We started the day with a few gifts and cards. Having breakfast together, before we all took a late morning nap. even though that day is called ‘Fathers Day’, it really is about our Son. Our son, who now has a safe and secure home and is able to celebrate the fact that he has two Dads. Today was about him and will always be about him. We would always want to do something that he wants to do.

Our day today has felt so special because both of us at some point in our life thought that it would never happen. Although spending the day walking in the woods, having fun jumping in puddles then feeding the ducks really is what today is all about. Having fun.

Father’s Day today has been the best day yet. Getting to celebrate this day with our Son and as a family unit is and always will be a memory we will never forget.