As I sit here with red eyes from crying so much, I thought I’d pour my heart out and fill you in with what happened today.
Oh. My. God. You’re Early…
So it’s 12:50pm and I’ve just finished prancing around the house in my pants. I have tidied the house ( well Tim did) and I’ve done my hair (for those that don’t know my hair is ringlet curly and I straighten it to look “normal”).
I get dressed as greeting the SW in my pants isn’t a good start. She’s due at 1:30pm!
Just about to put shoes on to pop to the shop to get milk and some bits as our fridge looks bare, and the SW’s all need milk in there coffee’s.
1:05pm KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK… It’s only Anne stood at the door. I’m instantly like “you’re well early”, she’s thinking shes late! we both check emails to find out the meeting is at 1pm and the other two are late… I’m now frantically panicking that we are not ready. I’m plumping the cushions on the sofa, while Tim is telling me to go get milk.
I walk round to the shop, voice note my dad, freaking out! Come back home put the kettle on, the door goes again. Caroline and Ioana ( the pudding’s social worker & family finding social worker) are standing at the door…
Everyone Takes A Seat
Here’s me thinking we will all sit around the dining table and have a proper meeting. Oh No! They all take a spot on the corner sofa and I squeeze in next to Tim.
Ioana (family finding SW) takes the lead and starts off the meeting. She starts by introducing herself and Caroline. Straight away she asks us how the ‘Craft Day’ went and how we found it. I wanted to say “go read our blog”, thought better of it and Tim lead the conversation.
Ioana then went on to introduce Caroline (puddings SW). Caroline then went into more detail of how pudding came into care and what he is like now (nearly a year on). I could sit and write all the horrible stuff he suffered as a child but he mainly suffered neglect, this has affected his development and his needs not being met as a mini human.
There was lots of information given to us about pudding and a lot to take in, however, most of it we had heard before.
It’s Our Turn
So it was our turn to ask questions…
The easiest thing to do is give you all the questions we asked:
As you can see we asked a lot, which led on to many more questions being asked.
More Questions For Us
Ioana asked us more questions about life after adoption, time off work, finances etc.
They both talked about our PAR and how honest and open we were… Well, how honest I was. My childhood wasn’t the best and we all agreed that if I was a child of this era I probably would be a child in care myself.
She then asked what would trigger emotions within us when we are stressed. I stated that when I get stressed I need to see my family and them being a 3.5-hour drive away can be a bit tough sometimes and sometimes I just need a hug or to hear their voice. Facetime helps in some ways but in other ways, you just need a hug from your parents. This is when I started to get upset (currently holding it together)
Tim talked about crowded spaces then I dropped him in it of how he’s going to freak when we have a un-tidy home…
Caroline then said how she wants a loving home for pudding and how she wants to see him safe and well looked after. Then that question was aimed towards us… Tim noticed that I was welling up and I couldn’t even speak I was so upset. Ann even looked teary.
The more we go through this process the more we realise that we are going to be Dads! Many people have life goals to achieve and jobs they strive to get. My life goal is to be a parent and to right some wrongs from my childhood. I’m so keen to become a Dad and so is Tim. I just can’t wait for that day the little pudding comes home with us and our family life continues as a three-piece.
So What’s Next?
We asked what’s next. If all parties agree they will be back for an FLM ( family linking meeting), this could be as quick as 2 weeks 😬!
We’ve already emailed Ann stating that nothing we have heard today has put us off and we want to proceed with pudding.
The waiting now begins…