As if our hectic week wasn’t hectic enough, we attended a ‘craft day’ on Saturday 20th. After a long lay in as we are both tired AF, we rush to get ready.

Darran, as usual, wasn’t ready at all which meant him leaving the house with curly hair (shock).

We were asked to arrive promptly at 9.30 but arrive at 9.33. I’m panicking (I hate being late) but as we drive up to the place we see other adopters we know strolling down the road which made me chill!

We walk to the entrance and give our names to a social worker which was a man – never see one of these before 😝. He gives us direction to the waiting room where we wait with the other adopters.

We were given a brief from two social workers explaining the day, what to expect and some information on a few of the kids. We were then let out of the room into the unknown.

Darran and I were first out of the room to be greeted by NO kids! As it was a nice day they all decided to go outside. So off we go to hunt down some kids.

The only way I can describe what we were feeling was awkwardness. All the kids were playing with each other, running around or with their foster carers.

Hopscotch

We both stand there whispering ‘what the fuck do we do?!’ Darran being Darran picked up some chalk and started drawing out hopscotch. Out of nowhere, these 2 little cuties come bounding over asking what we’re doing.

Before either one of us could answer one of the boys blurted out ‘I know what that is, that’s hopscotch’.

They picked up some chalk and started to help Darran finish it off. As they are little kids they were doing what they wanted. If any of you have grasped Darran by reading any of his posts you’ll know he likes things doing his own way.

Seeing the boys drawing the boxes the way they wanted, I knew Darran was having a melt-down inside which made me laugh.

After literally 2 minutes they were bored and ran to do something funner (not even a word but who cares)!

As all the other adopters were outside, there seemed to be no kids on their own. We walk around a bit looking awkward AF. I asked the SW if the two boys we are interested in are here? One was but the other one was running late.

We went back inside and started playing with these two little sisters who were making stuff with play-doh. We chatted to them and to their foster carer for a bit. The foster career seemed a bit full on and pushy. I think she was like this as one of the little girls was on the spectrum and was non-verbal.

I could see Darran getting a bit uncomfortable so we moved back outside to see if we could see the boys we have been interested in for a while.

The Two Puddings

I noticed that one of the boys was in the room by himself so I nudged Darran and we made a beeline for him. He was the smallest 4-year-old you’ll ever see, just the cutest little boy! We played with him for about 15 minutes, getting to know him, playing on the piano and with the spaceship.

We ask him whether he wants to go outside which he does and runs off to do something else.

As we both walk out we notice this mini human dressed up in a dog onesie. The SW mouths over to us while pointing at the dog onesie ‘That’s Pudding’ (she said his name but we won’t reveal that just yet’).

I look at Darran and we both smile at each other but couldn’t get anywhere near him. Obviously, other prospective adopters were drawn to him like bees to honey.

We walk around for a bit and interact with some other children which were all just so amazing! We played football, we got the imaginary train to the beach, we made Autumn wreaths and blew bubbles.

Again, we find ourselves again with no children to play with or get to know.

Little Human in the Dog Onesie

We take a seat to have a chill (both at this stage just freaking out). We then notice who we think is the foster career of the mini human in the dog onesie.

I go up to her and ask whether she is his social worker to which she replies ‘No, I’m his foster carer. I smile but inside I’m thinking ‘you dickhead’. Of course, she wasn’t his social carer as we met her at ‘the profiling event’.

She then says – ‘are you Darran & Tim’? I’ve heard about you! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Our names are getting out there and she seemed to like what she had heard about us.

We both start chatting to her but I’m more interested in interacting with him. I take his hand and we both go off to explore. I pick up a ball and throw it against some brick building. He picks the ball up and walks over to the building and touches the ball with it. I start clapping which he starts giggling at.

We walk on a bit more when he starts pointing up to the trees. I pick him up and we both start pulling at the leaves and rub them against our faces which makes him grin and giggle. We look over fences, kick some giant tyre and just walk around.

It’s Time

Darran then yells over ‘Tim, we’ve got to go’. We’d already been there for 1.5 hours but it only seemed to be 30 minutes.

I pick him up and walk over to Darran and his foster career and I’m smiling like a Cheshire Cat.

Darran walks off with him. I chat to the foster career about him before he was in foster care and how well he is doing now. I had no issues with his ‘problems’ we were told about and speaking to his foster career cemented the desire to continue with him.

The mini human wanted to go up and down the steps like a 1000 times with Darran holding onto his hand grinning back at me.

As the social workers were tidying up outside, we said our goodbyes to him and his foster career.

Once inside we both sit down in silence. By this time I have a banging headache from the last 1.5 hours. We were asked to complete a small feedback form and to note down the names of any of the children we wanted more information on.

We have had all the information on both boys well before we attended this craft day.

In the main room outside, all the children had their own A4 piece of paper on the table. We were asked to write something about them to boost their confidence. Darran and I both noticed that the two boys we were interested in didn’t have much. We wrote loads!

We chat for a bit to some of the social workers and leave the event feeling drained and exhausted. Once in the car, we both decided to continue with the mini human dressed in the dog onesie. Darran then emailed Ann straight away asking her to start the ball rolling!

We’ll update you soon………

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8 Comments

  1. Wendy Hide-Allman Reply

    I can’t wait for the next update from you both. So so proud of how you are dealing with every single step and your blog needs to be published when you get to the end of your journey. I love you both xxxx

    • Thanks Wendy, we have a long way to go but at least we are heading in the right direction. With support from you we know we’ll be fine. Many people say I should put my life in a book lol x

  2. Hello! Ives just recently found your blog and can’t stop reading it. I’d love to adopt one day so your page has been very inspiring and informed. I’ve always thought of adopting a baby, but have heard that even when they are little, they can be so emotionally broken which is discouraging. The fear of having a child that might never feel yours or like they belong or even unable to attach to you, it’s quite scary. Were you ever worried or scared of that? That that bonding never happens? Even if you adopt a baby which in theory, would have less of an emotional trauma? Would love to hear your opinion. Thank you very much and best wished for the future xx

    • Hi Gina, Firstly let me say thank you for taking the time to read our blog. If you are thinking to adopt, obviously, I’m going to say “do it”. I would recommend you attend an adoption day to find out more. Trauma starts from the womb and there’re many ways a newborn might be difficult to adopt from birth but also so many ways they might be the perfect start to your family. Every child that is in the adoption world will have some form of broken emotions no matter what age you choose. Any adopted child goes through loss in some form and this will be difficult but its all about the way you deal with it which ultimately helps the child. I think it’s natural to think that the child won’t bond but what I do know is, once you see a child on profile then you meet them in person, you know that you’ll do anything to give that child a safe haven. This will over time create a bond the child will attach too. I hope this helps and if you do decide to start your journey we would love to hear more.

      • Thanks for replying back. There’s really a lot to consider but hopefully one day we might start our journey too. Regarding the gender of the child, did you guys have any say on it or you are not allowed to choose? Does the child gets chosen for you or can you go through different profiles and photos? (sorry, it sounds like I’m describing a shopping catalogue, that’s not what I meant). Thanks again for explaining how the process works. Xx

        • Hi Gina,

          We had a lengthy discussion with our SW about what kind of child we would like, what conditions we felt we could manage and what we couldn’t. You have to decide what you want as that’s what you get approved for at panel. We went with 0-6 yrs, any gender, single or siblings.
          If you were approved for 0-3, male and single but then was interested in a girl aged 4 or interested in siblings you would need to go back to panel.

          Towards the end of our visits the SW was bringing us profiles of children to consider, we then went to a profile event which had lots more children and then finally went to a craft day with even more children we hadn’t seen. Altermently we still went ahead with a child our SW sent us.

          Hope that explains?

  3. Sarah Nuttall Reply

    Wow, after Katie told us about the craft days we’ve been wondering how they went. You’ve given such a great description that I’m sure will be such a big help for others.

    • Thanks Sarah. One of the reasons we started this blog was to help other potential adopters get a greater understanding of the process and what we have to go through to get our forever child x

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